Diminished
by Die
Summary: Motoki doesn't want to let Mamoru go. Yaoi.


-walks forward-  
  
-looks around-  
  
-grabs motoki and drags him off -  
  
Odd thing. He isn't even my fav char. o_O; Go fig.  
  
I dunno what to rate this. R maybe? Or perhaps NC-17. Hmm. I'm testing the  
waters here. So it depends on how touchy you are.  
  
::Characters not mine.AU.OOC.TWT.Yaoi.Lime. Does odd count as a warning?::  
  
Song fic.  
  
-waves R.E.M. flag- Lyrics are #'d or whathaveyou.  
  
  
  
  
.oO*@-DIMINISHED-@*Oo.  
  
  
  
#I watched you fall.  
I think I pushed.#  
  
  
:Please stand:  
  
'Furuhata Motoki. You have been charged with the Murder   
of one-Chiba Mamoru. How do you plead?'  
  
As I stand in front of the judge I can't help but look over  
towards the defense team. *The bad guys who want to lock me up*,  
-ahem- if you will, and I look at her. I just look at her. She's  
staring at me expectantly with big, red puffy blue eyes. Refusing to  
accept reality of the situation. She looks so small, so sad. Like  
her whole little world was crushed like a... well, like a flunked  
math test.   
I smile and start to giggle at my joke. Her eyes widen and I offer  
a wave of *Hello. I just destroyed your life and I couldn't be more happy.  
Thank you for making this moment possible.* Hee hee. She looks scared.  
I wink at her and turn to look at the judge. Promising myself not to   
burst out laughing at what I'm about to say. Oh... what a kodak moment  
indeed.  
  
  
#Maybe I'm crazy  
Maybe diminished  
Maybe I'm innocent  
Maybe I'm finished  
Maybe I blacked out.  
How do I play this?#  
  
  
'I plead guilty your honor. Guilty.'  
  
  
#I will give my best today  
I will give myself away   
I have never hurt anything  
Is the jury wavering?  
Do they know I sing?#  
  
  
****************************************************************  
Flashback.(Highschool)  
  
Damnit all. He's doing it again. Pushing himself over his limit, and  
being surprised when he falls. I watch him as he sighs and tiredly  
flops upon his text book, swearing. Looking for the world like an old man   
who has long past accepted his inevitable fate.  
I tsk and stand up casually, walking over to stand behind him. I  
reach down to brush his bangs out of his face. But they always fall back.  
Like a puzzle- My Mamoru-kun. A beautiful puzzle. The pieces mine to play  
with as I see fit. But, Mamoru-kun, I'll be gentle with you.  
I smile as he mumbles in his subconscious state. 'You work too hard  
Mamoru-kun.' I whisper as I start to massage his shoulders. He shifts and  
I can tell he's smiling. Our long fought over discussion pushing him to  
a pleasant silence. No arguing tonight Sempai, I need you too much.  
  
  
#Maybe I'm crazy  
Maybe diminished  
How do I,  
How do I play this?#  
  
  
I bend down to towards his neck. Leaving soft kisses that lead to his ear  
lobe where I suck it and tease it with my tongue. It's his weak spot you  
see.  
"Nnn... To-ki..."  
'Come to bed Sempai.' I tug at his shirt. He carefully stumbles out of   
the chair,letting me chatch him. He's so kawaii. I chuckle and help him   
towards those cheap excuses they call beds here. Stupid dorm. I can't  
express all of my desires in such a cramped living space. My Sempai deserves  
more than that. And just like before, I intend to improvise. I hate to  
wear him out this way, no matter how satisfying, but it pushes away   
those damn dreams he has. I wouldn't mind if he woke up all sweaty from  
some dream, but damnit, I better be the cause of it.  
My lips trace patterns down his chest as I unbutton his shirt, while  
trying to unbuckle his pants at the same time. He smirks at me. I leer at him   
and bite down on a nipple. He gasps and clutches the back of my head.   
'Humph. Maybe next time you'll help, ne?' He nods as I resume to my  
wanderings, loving the smooth taste of his skin as I travel lower. His   
back archs up to meet me and he moans my name. God I get drunk off of   
that sound.   
I'm more urgent to finish this now though. We do have a test in the   
morning. He bucks as I swifty take him into my mouth, sucking and moaning  
at the sounds of him begging me to give him release. I lightly trace  
patterns on his thighs and he tenses up, filling my mouth with his seed.  
I suck out as much as I can and trail more patterns with my lips up to his  
face. I cradle his cheek in my hand and he lazily smiles, leaning up to  
kiss me. I close my eyes and relax on top of him, reluctantly drawing  
my head away to rest between his shoulder and neck. Hmmm. Sweet dreams   
koibito.  
  
***********************************************************************  
Just after lunch some random day.  
  
I open my locker and glance down the hallways. Only to smash it close  
with an echoing vengeance when a disturbing site catches my eye. Students  
stare at me in shock. Fact is, I can't quite believe what I'm seeing.   
Though it's awfully close to the color red.  
Some football jock-asshole leaning up against *MY* Mamoru-sempai!   
Pushing him into a locker and ... and.. Who the HELL does he think he is!?!  
My eyes shutter close as I take a deep breath. I open them to see him  
daring to touch what is rightfully *mine*. I. Don't. Think So. As I stalk  
over, Mamoru untangles himself from the big, soon to be dead, idiot and   
backs up against a faraway locker.  
  
'How DARE you.' I barely manage to hiss out while jabbing his chest.  
  
He lifts his chin defiantly. 'Fuck you fairy.'  
  
My fist rapidly pulls back and I'm greedily awaiting to hear a sick crunch  
as I knock this SOB out cold. But it never happens. I turn around to see...  
Awe bloody hell. And just like that I'm RPC'd.   
  
  
#Jealous lover, self defense  
Protective brother, chemical dependence.#  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Turns out I wasn't the only one disappointed. A few kids welcome me back to  
class with 'Too bad.' 'He really had it comin''  
I nod and smile. I'll get him later. I have all the time in the world.  
Besides. I got to spend more time comforting my koibito.   
  
'Class. Turn to page 207...'  
  
**************************************************************  
  
#I'll consult the i'ching  
I'll consult the TV  
Ouija, oblique strategies.#  
  
I take a day out to settle my score with Mr. Unlucky. So many ways to  
exact revenge. My head is literally swimming in them. I went to the   
Library, rented some books and videos. Memorized a few procedures.  
  
I lean down to stare into his lifeless bloodshot eyes. Or what's left of   
them. And smiling I stand up and wipe my hands on my rag, tossing the knife  
into a stray trashcan. I smooth back my hair as I walk out of the alley way.  
An errent thought comes to mind. Last night... my beautiful Mamoru-kun  
just laid in my arms, letting me pet him, kiss him, whisper endearing  
words- promises. He smiled and giggled the whole time. Nuzzling up against  
me like a kitten.  
I stop in my tracks. God I love him. More than anything. I clutch at my   
chest is sudden desperation. He can never leave me. I won't let anyone have   
him.   
Decision renewed, I head back to our dorm.  
  
*************************************************************  
( a couple months later or so)  
  
#I will give my best today  
I will give myself away  
I have never hurt anything  
Is the justice wavering?  
Does she know I sing that song?  
Sing along  
Sing along  
Sing along  
(I will never hurt anything)#  
  
  
I pick up the phone and dial. You know, there once was a time when I didn't  
need a phone to reach him.  
  
"Moshi moshi?" I wince. It's *her*.  
  
'Let me speak to Mamoru-kun.'  
  
"Ok!" Ugh... How does he stand that thing for more than one minute? Over  
ME no less. I can hear a high-pitched squeal on the other end. And   
footsteps.  
  
"Motoki-san?" Wha... I stare at the phone as it falls. So... slow motion does  
exist.  
  
"Motoki?.... Motoki!?!"  
  
I come back to my senses, pick up the phone, and giggle.  
  
'Daijobu Mamoru-kun.' I smile. He sighs.  
  
"To-ki, that's not funny."  
  
'I know.' I say quietly; releived that he's switched back.  
  
"Well?" I grin.  
  
'My dear Mamoru-kun,' I pause for effect. 'Do me a favor and meet me at...'  
  
********************************************************************  
  
We lean over the guard rail casually, just like best friends.  
  
'And that's all I've become, hasn't it Mamoru-kun...' I barely whisper.  
  
"Nani?" Hu turns to look at me. I close my eyes.  
  
'Nothing'  
  
He looks almost hurt, glancing down at the hand rail.  
  
"We haven't been here for a while, ne?"   
  
I smirk at his lame attempt to start a -nice- conversation. It makes me  
even more depressed about what I'm about to do. But... why does he have  
to be so far away from me? Doesn't he see it's killing me? Does he even  
care? Kami-sama...   
I push myself to stand and make my way towards him. He won't look at me.  
Grr... Mamoru-kun I don't care what I have to do to get you to notice me,  
but you -will-.  
He stiffens when I wrap my arms around his waist. This won't do  
at all. I'm becoming annoyed. And I wouldn't -be- annoyed if it weren't  
for that little so-called girlfriend of his.   
  
'Mamoru-kun...' I whisper into his ear. His head jerks away and I scowl.  
And it isn't the first time he's done it. But I made sure we'd be alone  
tonight.  
  
'Mamoru-kun listen to me.' I push. Holding him tighter. 'You remember the  
last time we were here? Wasn't it beautiful with all those stars?' I   
gently pet his stomach in circles.  
His muscles start to relax and he almost melts in my arms.  
  
"Yeah." He says. "I do."  
  
I prod. 'And remember how we talked all night? We were late to class and  
the teacher yelled at us and asked if we had been out on a date. Trying  
to make us feel embarrassed.'  
I feel him smile. He nods. "Yeah... and one of the kids said that it could  
only be a date if you had kissed me goodnight..." I hug him tighter. "And  
you asked... you.. " He stops. I kiss his neck.  
  
'I asked what they would call a kiss goodmorning.'  
  
His breath catches and he struggles out of my grasp. Turning to look at me.  
  
"Motoki.. I.. I -told- you to stop doing that. And I meant it! And.. and.  
Motoki? Nani... what are you doing?"  
  
I pull my face out of my hands, now wet with tears, and glare at him.  
How could he? How... dare he say that and throw me away like I don't  
even matter. As if we were never together. I can't take this anymore,  
being ignored and pushed away. I do -not- deserve this, no.. no no no  
no no no no no no.. no.. I won't..  
  
'I won't let her take you from me.' I gasp out. 'She.. she -can't- have  
you!!' I scream.  
  
He backs up, pity to be against the rail, as I step  
closer. He's panicking... I can tell... it's the way I've been feeling all  
night.   
  
'You had the chance Mamoru-kun... why, -why- didn't you take it?! Do you  
hate me -so- much to break my heart over and over again?! Am I so damn   
meaningless to you that you can't even pretend to care! Well... I won't let  
you do this. I won't let you ruin your life on a whim of some cheesy -slut-!'  
  
His eyes narrow. "Don't you dare call her a slut Motoki-san! You have no  
idea how much-'  
  
'Don't I? For months now I've watched you. And evey time it's from farther  
and farther away and I'm ending it now.' I stand in front of him now, my  
hand on his shoulder as I reach up to his ear.  
  
'If I can't have you... no one will.'  
  
The softness of fabric is the last thing I feel as he slips away from my  
grasp. Unfortunately, once and for all.  
  
  
#I watched you fall.  
I think I pushed.#  
  
********************************************************************  
  
#Maybe they'll see me,  
Maybe they'll say,  
"I can see the truth in his statement.  
Smallpox blanket? No way."  
Can I charm the jury, my defense?  
Maybe I'm crazy  
Maybe diminished#  
  
I run a shaky hand through my hair as I watch the city below. Okashii.  
I thought he would scream or something.It's  
cold outside, I notice. I look down at my watch and gauge how much  
time it'll take them to get up here. Flashing lights and sirens surround  
the ground floor outside. I sigh and shake my head. Those authorities.  
Always so puncual and flashy. Always making a big deal out of nothing.  
  
'Nothing... that's all I was to you, ne... demo Mamoru-kun. I still love  
you. You're mine forever now. And they can't take that away. Nope,' I   
shake my head and smile, cracking my knuckles as I hear loud footsteps   
behind me. 'Sorry. He's all mine now.'   
  
A round of clicks is jabbed in my direction as I slowly turn around.  
  
:Sir. Step away from the edge and put your hands over your head.:  
  
I nod. 'Of course officer. But my name's Motoki.'  
  
  
#Maybe I loved you  
Baby I loved you  
Baby I loved you  
Baby I loved you  
Baby I'm finished.#  
  
********************************************************************  
(Present time)  
  
#I'll consult the law book for precedents.  
Can I charm the jury?#  
  
'NOOOOO!!!!!' She shreiks. Ha. Music to mine ears, you lovely little  
piece of trash. She tries to jump over the table and chairs. Screaming  
and crying. The big men in suits hold her back easily and I laugh out  
loud. Her cheeks are all puffed out, rage and obscene hate in her now   
glaring eyes. She looks like a chipmunk I once ran over. No wait, I stop  
to think. Maybe it was a squirrel.   
'Big difference though,' I mutter to myself. 'They didn't steal  
away my Mamoru-kun.'  
  
  
#I will give my best today  
I will give myself away  
I have never hurt anything  
Is the justice wavering?  
Does she know I sing that song?  
Sing along  
Sing along  
Sing along  
(I will never hurt anything)  
  
  
:Furuhata-san.: I glance up at the judge. 'Hai?' He stares at me for  
a drawn out minute before speaking.:Frankly Furuhata-san, I think you   
need serious help. And I'm willing to admit you as soon as possible. Of   
course, after rehabilitaion you will proceed to begin your life-sentence.  
Is that understood?:  
I cock my head to the side. Looking for all the world like a lost  
child. The judge sighs and is about to speak, but I interrupt.  
'Your honor. I'm afraid I don't understand, nor care about any  
help or life terms. My life was shamelessly pushed off the top of Tokyo's  
highest building. I acknowledge my existence, my sacrificial suicide, but   
it's nothing to me.' I speak softly with a sad smile. 'I have my Mamoru-kun  
and that's all that matters. To hell with your judgements. I couldn't  
possibly care less.' I finish. He seems to take my announcement into  
consideration, nodding and gesturing to a nearby officer. I stare at the  
judge as my hands are clasped behind my back, the clicking of metal  
strangely satisfying. I smile and bow as I'm escorted outside of the court  
room. I have won, it seems. Sempai, I know you'd be proud.  
  
  
#I have given myself away  
I have given my best today  
I have never hurt anything  
Is the justice wavering?  
Does she know I loved you  
Does she know I loved you?  
Does she know I sing?#  
  
~Owari?~  
  
**********************************************************************  
-dumps motoki on the ground-  
  
Dear God. How I loved writing this. -dusts off hands-   
  
-waves to Jas Po -   
  
-walks away-  



End file.
